Friday, March 5, 2010

old man and the sea draft

Decisions have to be made every single day in life. Almost everything you do is a choice in life. Each decision has a consequence. Whether this consequence is good or bad it results from your choice. So don't rush your choices. Prepare for what you are going to do and make the right decision. Every decision matters so do not mess up. It can be something as small as to walk to the right or to the left.
Santiago knew he was going out to sea on a hunt for big fish. He was using rope for line. This line will do a number to his hands. Despite this fact he doesn't bring any gloves to lessen the pain on his hands. He faced consequences for this.
"Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved." (56). This quote states that when he puts his hand in the water the blood trails away from his gruesome hand. This is because he didn't bring gloves when he really should've.
Santiago was going out to the enormous sea, which is home to enormous fish with sharp fins and swords and his plan was to catch one of those enormous fish. Even though he was going out he did not come prepared for the sharks that ruined his whole journey. If he had prepared for this the huge fish may not have been killed."He did not like to look at the fish anymore since he had been mutilated. When the fish had been hit it was as though he himself were hit." (103).
This tells you his shear devastation of what has just happened. He is just let down right there. He would've never felt this way if he had brought better or more weapons to fight of these sharks.
In the beginning you can come to the conclusion that Santiago loves the boy with all his heart. The boy is like a son to him and he would o anything to have the boy be successful. The boy offers to come along with Santiago on his trip. But Santiago refuses the boy because the old man does not feel lucky enough. The boy would have extremely helped the old man in his long excruciating journey. "If the boy were here he would wet the coils of the line, he thought. Yes. If the boy were here. If the boy were here." (83).
This is a perfect quote for what i am saying. He is just thinking about the boy and feeling so gloomy, wishing so bad he had the boy on his boat. The old man did make it out alive but the boy would have extremely helped him out.
When the wise marlin was on the line Santiago had another fish on. Every fish is valuable but Santiago chose to focus on the Marlin therefore cutting his other line. This was a silly mistake. If he had brought that fish in it could've meant more food and possibly big bucks.
Since he lost the massive Marlin this could've been crucial to his journey. "Some time before daylight something took one of the baits that were behind him. He heard the stick break and the line begin to rush out over the gunwale of the skiff. in the darkness he loosened his sheath knife and taking all the strain of the fish on his left shoulder he leaned back and cut the line against the wood of the gunwale." (51). This shows you how he cuts the line and doesn't even attempt to pull it up. This was a bad choice by him in my opinion.

In conclusion the man made a countless number of decisions throughout his journey that affected the outcome. He did not bring any gloves on his trip. He refused the boys help when offered. He did not bring any extra weapons. And lastly he cut the line of a fish that could've been marvelous. He showed compassion for the ocean also which shows his love for it. These are crucial decisions he made and he served the consequences for them.

7 comments:

  1. I. the thesis is basically that everyday everyone will have to make decisions about everytying! it is clear and is a good way to start the essay because it made me want to keep on reading.
    II. i think the strognest quote is "He did not like to look at the fish anymore since he had been mutilated. When the fish had been hit it was as though he himself were hit." i think this because he picked a passage that is significant to the story and shows how Santiago doesnt want to look at the fish because when the sharks beat the Marlin they also beat him.
    III. In this essay i think that the quotations adn examples were very strong. it made the essay easy to read because it refreshed my mind about what was in the story.
    IV. one thing i think could make this better would be to add some more vocabulary that will desciribe the mood and stuff of the story. That would make it even better than it already is even though it is AMAZING.

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  2. 1. The thesis is that everyday people make decisions and have to go through things. These things will affect things that will happen in the future. I believe this is implied by the essay's content.

    2. The best quote is how he didn't wanna look at the fish. This shows his sickness. He wants to catch the fish, leave, and go home. He's tired of the trip.

    3. The quotes did support the essay. This is very good for an essay. You shouldn't even try if you can't prove something. It wouldn't leave a reader convinced.

    4. The conclusion lost feeling. You should've ended with further thought than you did. Other than that, the essay was excruciating, '' ]

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  3. Chris's thesis is that the decisions we make every day will affect us in the long run. The thesis was easily understandable and there is nothing wrong with it.
    The best quote is ."He did not like to look at the fish anymore since he had been mutilated. When the fish had been hit it was as though he himself were hit." (103) This quote just shows how he is feeling about catching this fish.
    One thing Chris did well was using the quotes to prove his point. It was very strong in that area.
    The weakest part of the essay was the conclusion because it wasnt that great also He should add some vocab words and in the last paragraph HELKP should be HELP just fix that and you are good.

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  4. Chriss thesis is in order to represent each day, you have to make decisions. twas very clear and well written. way to go chris (if you play bball as well as you write, you'd be able to score more than 0). The best quote is "He did not like to look at the fish anymore since he had been mutilated. When the fish had been hit it was as though he himself were hit." I Like this quote because it is very descriptive and i can picture it well. The strongest part of chriss essay were his examples. He used good evidence throughout. The weakest part of the essay was the conclusion. I think you should add a bit more to keep the readers attention. keep up the good work your pal, sean

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  5. 1. Your thesis is that we have choices to make and obstacles to overcome every day. It is clear and focused, and keeps me engaged for the remainder of the essay.
    2. My personal favorite out of all your quotes was "If the boy were here he would wet the coils of the line, he thought. Yes. If the boy were here. If the boy were here." I have noticed this kind of thing coming from the old man’s mouth since the beginning of the book, so I was able to relate to it well.
    3. You have very strong examples and very strong quotes. This fuels your entire essay and supports your thesis quite well.
    4. The conclusion could use some work. It lost the energy that was present in the other paragraphs. Also, the addition of vocabulary words could only benefit your essay. Despite this, great job!!

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  6. 1.The thesis of this essay is that people make decisions everyday and it affects us alittle or alot. Its clear and keeps me reading..
    2. The quote.."If the boy were here he would wet the coils of the line, he thought. Yes. If the boy were here. If the boy were here." was incorporated into the paragraph very well. It backs up ur point very well.
    3. Your strength is your quotes. You chose quotes that backed up or reasons perfectly..it makes ur examples stronger.
    4. I think ur essay was written very well, so i dont think that you need to change anything..i didnt see anything, but u should just check over for conventions.

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  7. The thesis is that everyone has to make decisions every day, and that they all effect us.
    If the boy were here he would wet the coils of the line, he thought. Yes. If the boy were here. If the boy were here." It really sounds like Santiago.
    Your quotes were really good, chris!
    I think it was really good, you dont need to change it at all.

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